dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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