Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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