Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
