Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize