it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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