we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
