What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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