She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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