i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
