Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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