question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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