I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize