You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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