The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Naked. naked and bneed help.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
