I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
