you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We left an ass print on the piano.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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