24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
