Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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