Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
