Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
