I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
