I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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