My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think your dad took our porno
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
