he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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