I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
