Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
porn star boner night. come get it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
