That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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