What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
