I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
