I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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