You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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