I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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