If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
