This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
