We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
