i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
