All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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