Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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