One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
