Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
