You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
