I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
