idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
