Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
