I showed him my bush... on skype.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
