I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
