In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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