ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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