I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
