Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
