when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
