if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it's like iHOP with fire
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This baby is an asshole
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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