I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
