i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
