glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
