Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
